SATURDAY
started out really exciting. laura and i met the smith's and rios' at bagels and blenders for breakfast prior to our race in castaic. we all took one car up the grapevine. of course we got lost even though we had 3 smartphones on the task and one person who works in the area. we ended up getting there with plenty of time though so it was more fun then stressful. The race was clearly a well put together event and competition was going to be stiff. My legs had been sore all week but after a short warm-up they were feeling loose and ready. when the race before ours finished we took the field and were told by the referees to take one practice lap of the .75mi course. the courses had a bit of a hill on the back side and a long downhill straight coming into the finish line. The corners were aggressive and i knew they would be my biggest challenge. I have long known i am not good at cornering and though i feel ive improved i am still not up to par with my peers. i lose a lot of speed in the corners and as a result have to do sprints after each one to catch the group. When the referee blew the whistle and we started we flew off the line. i was blown away at the pace in those first few laps and it never seemed to let up. as i had expected....the corners were killing me, but, i could tell from the start that my body was not ready for this race. Maybe it was the races the prior to this weekend, maybe it was my lack of hard training on the weekdays, or maybe i was just mentally not focused. Either way i did not feel like myself. I found myself in the back of the pack slinky'ing back and forth as the group stretched out around the corners. the slinky effect was breaking me apart more...so on the downhill portion i made a hard effort to try and get to the front third of the field. i got their but only lasted maybe two laps (damn corners). once in the back this time i was blown to pieces from my previous effort. i would get strung out on the back then come back to the group whenever we passed the start/finish line. this lasted about three more laps until *POP* my race was done. i was off the back suckin wind. I still rode hard and pushed my pace as hard as i could in those final 4 laps. i attacked the hill then recovered on the downhill. After finishing i was pretty dissapointed but proud of my teammates who stayed in the pack and had strong finishes. I have finished in some pretty bad positions in races before (one time 47 out of 50) but i have always been happy at the end and felt i did my best or made the most of it. not the case last saturday. I felt someone else had been out there racing. I felt defeated. honestly i was confused...like "what the hell just happened". When i got back to the car i realized i had a flat tire. did it happen on the walk back to the car or during the race? is that why i felt dead? i doubt it..i'm pretty sure i ran over something on the way back to the car.
SUNDAY
Sunday was the time trial....it's been a long time since i felt i raced a time trial the right way. you can't go out and ride time trials as hard as you can and expect to do your best. you have to reach a different level. you have to shut off all thoughts and all emotions and just become two well shaven pistons firing away. This actually takes a ton of focus to shut yourself out of yourself per say. When you do it right at the end you feel emotionally exhausted and two heart beats away from a heart attack. I was determined this sunday to reach this. My legs were dead from saturday and i was in no mood to race which was a perfect reason to ignore my weakness and emotions and become a thoughtless machine. I really feel i achieved that this week. Thanks to my decreased fitness and unrecovered body my time was not as good as it has been...but...i feel i left 100% (ok 99.5% cuz i didnt pass out) out there on the road. So I'm excited about that.
I'm also excited about being done with racing for a few weeks. I need to get some good hard training hours in with no fear of being gassed for any upcoming events.
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